Gina Marinelli, Intern

When it comes to active listening, I think that it is one the most important things we can do to show up for one another. “Active” implies that we are engaged, focused, and a willing participant in the listening as opposed to passive. This shows that we are more than just a set of ears and more of a shoulder to lean on or a mouth to give consensual advice. This type of listening is so important because it makes the other person feel seen and truly heard. I know for myself there is nothing worse than when someone is only half paying attention to what you are saying, as it makes you feel unvalidated and not worth their time. 

  The difference between hearing someone and actively listening is all about engagement. I don't necessarily mean engagement in terms of participation, but rather a mental engagement, where you are hearing the other person's words, digesting them, and putting yourself in their shoes. It’s so easy to listen to what someone has to say and immediately want to give them advice, but it shows that we were not fully engaged in what they were saying. Maybe they didn't want advice, and just wanted someone to vent to, or maybe they just wanted to sit in silence with you. The more we think about what the other person needs and less about what we think they should hear, the better listeners we become. 

   Active listening can strengthen our relationships with others in several ways. When we actively listen to somebody, we get a good idea of what they are going through at that very moment. We can be of better help to them when we are fully engaged, listening, and making eye contact as we can better read their body language and subtle movements. Whether it’s a classmate, a family member, or a friend, these techniques will help the other person feel appreciated and maybe even get what they need. 

   One active listening skill that I hope to improve is my tendency to give advice when it is not needed. This is mainly because I want to help fix the problem, which I know is not always appreciated. In the future, I will try to only give my advice if it is asked for as opposed to when I feel like giving it because not everyone wants advice when they are telling you about a problem. 

Overall, active listening is just one way we can be our best selves for others. Being kind, empathetic, and an unbiased person can also help us to be the best version of ourselves that we can be, and in turn, can help us with our own mental health as well.