Lucas Milgrim, UPenn Chapter Member, Class of 2027

I usually am honored at first when someone comes to me for support. It means a lot to me that I have established and created a trusting relationship with the friends or loved ones who are in a time of need, and that they feel comfortable enough to approach me vulnerably. However, I sometimes get overwhelmed, whether because I am also dealing with a difficult situation, or because I do not know how to respond to their troubles.

The ILEAP skills have been incredibly helpful in responding and being a helpful listener in these situations. Leading with I statements are a great way for me to ground myself throughout these interactions, and to ensure I am responding appropriately to my peers and making sure my advice or worry is expressed in a way that is not accusatory, but as a genuine concern. Also, these skills have prepared me to respond adaptively to any scenario. I know I can properly address concerns and help my friends whether they just need to vent, are looking for my advice, or are seeking a more professional response.

These skills have allowed me to best understand what my peers are seeking, so I don’t overstep boundaries and make them uncomfortable, and how to address these needs. I find paraphrasing to be one of the most difficult parts of ILEAP, as I often worry about being wrong about what the person is trying to tell me, and potentially breaking the trusting bond they are showing we have developed. However, I have realized throughout my CogWell experience that it is better to be wrong than not try, as clarification is key in being able to adequately respond to my peers’ needs.