Ava Mahnken, Villanova Chapter Member, Class of 2028

Active listening is something that I have experienced lately while in conversation with one of my friends who will be attending a new university next semester. Having played softball for as long as she has been a student, the whole experience of changing schools brings along a lot of emotions, especially since softball played such an important part in her life. 

When communicating, I focused not on the ways to react but on the facts of what she told me. To help her feel better and get her emotions out, I asked questions, paid attention to her problems, and tried to understand her perspective. The practice of active listening was mainly easy since I care about my friend and was eager to help. However, it was difficult for me to do it since I was unable to put myself in her shoes as I had never transferred schools before and I could not fully understand how she felt. There were some moments when I desperately wanted to tell her how to deal with her troubles and offer her advice. However, I understood that, in essence, she did not want anyone to chime in about her problems. She only wanted someone to listen. 

This experience reminded me that active listening can be one of the most important ways to support someone. Even when you cannot fully relate to what a person is going through, taking the time to listen, ask questions, and validate their emotions can make a big difference. You are never going to truly know what anyone is going through, even if you have similar experiences. This experience taught me that being a good listener is not about having the right answers, but about offering patience, understanding, and a safe space for someone to share their thoughts, feelings, and tribulations