Sara Adler, UPenn Chapter Member, Class of 2028

Being the person someone turns to for support or guidance makes me feel both appreciated and responsible. When someone comes to me with a problem, it shows me that they value my opinion and trust me enough to be vulnerable. That makes me feel closer to them and strengthens our relationship. At the same time, it can be intimidating because I want to give helpful advice, and there is always the worry that things may not work out the way either of us hopes. 

The ILEAP skills have made me feel much more prepared to respond in these situations. In addition to active listening skills, such as giving the other person my full attention, avoiding distractions, and validating their feelings, one of the most valuable lessons I have learned is the importance of joint problem solving. Rather than immediately offering my own opinion or trying to fix the situation, I have learned to work through possible solutions together with the other person. I have also learned how important it is to first understand what they need from the conversation. Sometimes they want advice, while other times they simply want someone to listen. Taking the time to ask what they are looking for has helped me provide support that feels more meaningful and helpful. 

The hardest ILEAP skill for me is remembering to verbally acknowledge the other person’s strengths and thank them for trusting me enough to share what they are going through. Although I often recognize these things internally, I do not always express them out loud. I want to become more intentional about reminding people of their strengths and letting them know I appreciate the trust they place in me when they open up.